Temptation can overcome anyone from any walk of life. It’s not a Christian thing. It’s not something that only weak people experience. It’s not something that is tied to social status, age, race, or gender. For the person who is trying to maintain a certain moral standard, however he or she defines that, he or she can find that simply living life in 2012 can open the door to temptation which, if succumbed to, would violate that standard.
Overcoming temptation is easier with an accountability partner. That’s where Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability comes in handy. The Covenant Eyes program is perfect for:
Can’t find an accountability partner?
Ask your religious leader, a co-worker, or a trusted friend if they can recommend someone who meets the criteria for an accountability partner. It is sometimes the person who you think would be least likely to accept the challenge who makes the best partner. Men or women whom you have thought were far beyond the possibility of having such issues in their lives are sometimes walking examples of the possibility of serious change taking place in a person’s life. You don’t see the desperate or darker side of life that they’ve already lived because they’ve taken the steps that were necessary to regain control of their lives. You can do that too! Life’s obsessions and compulsions can be overcome, and especially with the help of someone who cares enough about you to reach and share their time, concern, and friendship with you via and accountability agreement.
An accountable person…
- is not afraid to be vulnerable.
- gladly accepts the availability of such helps as a filtered ISP.
- can recognize and admit when he has fallen.
- picks himself back up after a fall.
Choose an accountability partner who…
- cares enough to ask the hard questions.
- is willing to be diligent in keeping contact with the addicted person.
- is willing to regularly make the addicted one the subject of his prayers.
- is capable of looking beyond the hurts, anger, and frustration that characterizes pornography addiction.
Is accountability for you? A note to men
As men, we carry our pride like badges of honor. We use it as a shield against anything that might threaten our self-esteem. We hide behind it when other people attempt to offer suggestions which, if followed, would require us to change our courses in life. We know better than anyone else what is best for ourselves. After all, we managed to bring ourselves to the place in life where we are. And we will do a fine job of going on to the next step.
Therein lies one of the greatest problems that men who are addicted to anything face. Because they believe that they know what is best for them, and because they do not want anyone violating their manhood by telling them what to do, they continue blindly down the same lonely road that brought them to the place where they are. That place may be one where, because of his porn, drug, or gambling addiction, his marriage has fallen apart, his financial situation has deteriorated, possibly to the point of homelessness.
It is crucial that men figure out that they cannot fight every battle alone. Perhaps you are one who considers himself to be a “self-made man,” one who has fought his way up the corporate ladder – only to find that you were the only one there when you arrived. If you are an addict, you might do yourself a favor by considering that by yourself, you managed to crawl all the way to where you are. In the world of substance abuse and addiction, the ladder goes down, not up. It goes straight down into a pit that has the ability to totally consume any of us.
Admitting the need for personal accountability is not surrendering your autonomy. Accountability is one of the most powerful weapons that a person who is porn-addicted has at his disposal. The same is true of any compulsive or addictive behavior, whether it is sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling – whatever. The choice to join into an accountability agreement allows us to admit to our friend (our accountability partner) that we have come against something that, at least for a moment was more powerful than we were. It allows us to admit that we need help to win the fight, but in a way that lets us keep our chins up.
Accountability is only one part of a successful plan for recovery. But it is a great starting place.
Protect Your Family | Guard Your Heart